Mr. Palmer Is Concerned With The Thousand Dollar Question [just like roger he's a crazy little kid]

I no longer have internet access at my place anymore, so I've been keeping an offline blog to post when I can. Just some random ramblings, nothing important.

11/19/07
Why is it that I cannot give up wearing sandals, shorts, and a t-shirt even though it is obviously cold outside? It's as if the idea of losing the memories of the summer is too unbearable, or maybe I just don't want to admit that the inevitable is coming. I know it will eventually get too cold for my clothing habits, yet I desperately hope for something to intervene. Perhaps global warming won't be so bad after all. Sure, thousands of species will become extinct, but at least I'll be able to wear my sandals year round. Gee, I'm starting to sound human. Caring only about what affects me and nothing more.

My thoughts are terribly confusing. They are torn between two sides. The first is my current life. Although its end is nearing, I am presently in the military. From my experiences I have learned everything that I should have learned before hand, but that is neither here nor there. Heartache, loyalty, disappointment, resentment, and even love. Through my years of enlistment I have met many people, some whom I care about and some whom I do not; nonetheless, they are all important in my life. I have even met my now wife which is probably the best thing that I can pull from all of these years. On the other hand, I have the life I could be living, which, lovely thinking, does not include the military. If my path of college had not failed, I would already have a bachelors degree, working on my masters, and eventually my doctorate. I would be one step closer to the dreams and aspirations my life was once blessed with, but none of that seems possible now. I perhaps would have never made it through college without the knowledge I possess now, but in the same aspect, I may be stuck in a life I do not wish to live because of the path I chose. Can I still go to college while supporting a wife and child? Will I be smart enough to take the classes I wish to take? I fear that I have lost all that I learned in high school, which is the foundation upon which college is based on. I have not a single regret in regards to my wife and daughter; they are the world to me, and I will do everything and anything for them. Ironic, isn't it, that what dreams and aspirations I have, fullfilled, would be the best thing for all of us? I would be able to support all three of us with no fear of finding a job, having money, food, clothing, shelter, etc. I mean, a job in the science field is usually accompanied by a fairly generous pay check. Granted, money is not everything, but it sure as hell does make the world go 'round, and without money you're not shit. The way I think about it, I have two choices. After my enlistment has expired, I either find a job right away and stick with it for years upon years, whether or not I will be happy doing what I will be doing is questionable but it will provide a pay check to put food on the table. Option B is to go ahead and go to school, take the classes I've always wanted to take, get that degree that could possibly land me the career I've always wanted, all the while taking on some low paying job just to make some extra money, while Lisa works full time to give us some actual income. The latter seems more logical, of course, but what if I... fail? What if I cannot do what I couldn't do four years ago? I do believe I found something I fear. Failure. It seems to be following me around lately, and if I can't shake it, well, my questions will still stand: what do I do?

On a more positive note, I should be receiving a large paycheck come the first. A few months of back pay for BAQ, Decembers BAQ, and the normal check. Can you say four grand? Maybe even more? I'm definitely not mad at that. Speaking of December, I will be turning twenty three on the seventh. So, what have I done that most twenty three year olds haven't done? After growing up in Rhode Island, I've lived in Texas, Florida, Virginia, Nevada, Georgia, and Japan. I've married and have an absolutely beautiful daughter. Now, what do they have that I don't? Oh, that's right, an education. Now all I can think of is the paragraph above.

Something interesting that the wife and I were talking about. I wish that I was proud of my job in the Air Force. I wish that I could be all hoorah and hua about this and that, but I just don't think that what I do is anything to write home about. I mean, from my point of view, I help support the waste of hundreds of thousands of dollars per day, and for what, oil? I don't even want to rant about this, so I won't, but the brainwashing just never worked with me. I wanted to be brainwashed, too; I was hoping basic training would carve me into the poster boy airman, that the "serving your country" spam that they feed us would break my defenses. I wanted to be that guy that, when asked what he was doing with his life, would respond with, "I serve my country with honor and pride. What do you do?" I guess you don't get everything you wish for, huh. In the end I'm glad I never broke, because serving this country is not anything to be proud of. Part of me is damn glad that I'm leaving the service. Sure, we have a nicely written past that we read about in our text books, but look at our current state of affairs right now. Oil sure doesn't seem to be a good excuse for massacre. Doesn't seem like a good excuse for staging terrorist attacks on NYC, then waging a war against "terrorism," which, if you haven't noticed, is not the kind of war you just "win." Apparently no one has realized that we are terrorists, therefore we are waging war against ourselves. I sure hope we win, guys. The end of the war is going to great, with every terrorist gone from this earth. Too bad there will be no one left to enjoy the peace.

Q: Who is Beverly Clearly?
A: A children's book author.

11/20/07

So Thanksgiving is this Thursday. I won't even bother writing about my immense sadness that I won't be having Thanksgiving dinner with my wife (our first Thanksgiving), daughter (her first Thanksgiving), mother, and other family. And no, I don't have any dinner plans with friends. I do have plans, though. I figure if I'm going to be alone on Thanksgiving I might as well make it worth it. What better time to go to the gym than on Thanksgiving night? Who else in there right mind is working out when they can be eating a plump, juicy turkey with "all tha fixins"? Everyone else is going to get fat on Thursday, I'm going to get a work out. I haven't committed myself to working out for a few years, and as such I haven't been to the gym in quite a while. The first day back at the gym is always the most motivating, so I'll have free range on all equipment and weights. I will feel a little guilty for not eating some of our feathered friends, though. Perhaps I'll purchase a Hungry Man Turkey Dinner from the commissary the day before?

What better way to hide your sadness than self-improving optimism?

I did give in to my money spending urges today. I bought a book called "The Wheel of Darkness," by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child. Description: "A luxury ocean liner on its maiden voyage across the North Atlantic, awash in wealth and decadence... An ancient Tibetan box, its contents unknown, sealed with a terrifying warning... An FBI agent destined to confront what he fears most--himself." THE WHEEL OF DARKNESS- "When the Agozyen walks the Western Sea, And Darkness upon darkness wheels, The waters shall rise up in fury..." The first chapter was pretty interesting, so I'll try to write a spoiler free report after I finish.

Retrospect--the good ol' days.

10/22/07

I didn't think Thanksgiving would be this hard. All I can think about is Lisa, Adriana, and the rest of the family.

10/25/07

Well, I spent all Thanksgiving reading "The Wheel of Darkness." I have to say, it was one of the better books I've had the privilage to read. One chapter in and I couldn't put it down. Literally. I spent the entire day reading it from chapter two to the end. A definite five star read. To my surprise, this is not the first book of its kind; the "Pendergast novels," as they call it, are eight deep so far, with "The Wheel of Darkness" on the latter end. In order, "Relic," "Reliquary," "The Cabinet of Curiosities," "Still Life with Crows," "Brimstone," "Dance of Death," and "The Book of the Dead." Pendergast is the protagonist in the novels, by the way. Also, isn't "The Book of the Dead" the "Necronomicon" or something to that affect? I'm not sure where I heard that but it sounds so familiar. This is going to annoy the piss out of me until I figuer it out... I wish I had the internet in this cubicle.

I've been getting into too many fights lately. It isn't like me to fight at all, but my former friends... a few of them are just so childish, it reminds me of high school. It just so happens that my level of caring is so low nowadays and the simple taunts make me break. I've been lucky to avoid trouble so far but unless I calm down a bit I fear that trouble will be in my face sooner than I think. Even though the chances of staying on this island are slim to none, there is still a slight chance it could happen, and fighting is not going to help at all.

Even though it is quite cold outside, I will be snorkling next week, after my base restriction is null and void. Pictures will be taken (underwater camera), I don't care how cold it is. I wouldn't bother until next summer but the cold hard fact that I need to admit to myself is that there will most likely not be a next summer in Okinawa. I'm not leaving without underwater pictures, so I'll just have to suck it up and be cold.

Speaking of Okinawa, Sarah would die if she saw what I drank a few weeks ago. A Final Fantasy Potion. Family Mart sells official FF potions, which tastes kind of like Lifeguard, almost like a calmer Red Bull without the energy. It is indeed delicious, although the price tag isn't very friendly; 200 Yen for one. The can is just like all of the other Japanese cans, which are a lot tougher than American cans. The only way to crush them is to step on them. The cans feature one of several FF7 scenes, Advent Children style. Nifty.

Oh, a question for everyone: Is Wendy's selling a "Creamy Mushroom Chicken" sandwich back in the states?

Japan makes me jealous. Most advertisements in the newspaper and on the streets include a special barcode which will bring you to a special website that usually includes coupons not normally available. You simply scan it on your computer with a bar code scanner or on your cell phone, most of which have bar code scanners. I know that ProJo was trying to introduce the same type of product but I don't remember it ever lifting off quite far. Oh, and let's not forget the drink machines that allow you to use your SIM card to pay, which in turn adds the price to your cell phone bill. Some even accept credit card! Grr... I'm going to miss this place so much.

BAM!

The only funny commercial on AFN. Seriously, AFN is as close as you can get to government propaganda. In any case, this shit is pretty hilarious.

'nuff said

HARRY POTTER. SOON. JOYGASM.

Ah, it's been a while since I've written anything in this blog, or any blog for that matter. Life has definitely been hectic lately, in a good way. I guess I'll just type everything on my mind...

First of all and most importantly, Lisa, Adriana, and I. We will be a real family come the end of July. That's right, I am getting married to an amazing woman who will soon be named Lisa Murphy. Our little sugar cube, Adriana, will soon be adopted. Bachelor party Saturday, July 14th, 2007, at The Bar, on the lovely island of Okinawa, Japan. Come one, come all, if you are on Okinawa during that day.

Perhaps this should be the most important (don't hate, Lisa), but Billy Corgan is going to be in Guitar Hero III! Yes, that's right, The Smashing Pumpkins will be in the next installation of my addiction. The song? Cherub Rock, off of Siamese Dream. Not too shabby! I would like to have Silverfuck or Geek USA instead, or maybe even Rhinoceros, but hey, whatev, I'm still excited.

Speaking of my Pumpkins, I'm kind of annoyed at the internets. First off, let it be known that I've been an avid fan of Billy and the Orange Fruit/Veggie Things for quite some time, since 1989. Well, as some of you might know, Billy is back with SP and a new single, Tarantula. It is to be expected that some excitement should envelope their comeback; HOWEVER! Do not be a douche and jump on the band wagon that you've been their biggest fan since Gish! These people are most likely 14 year olds that listened to 1979 last year or something. Hell, when that album was released, they would have been 2! I'm really not vexed by the fact that they are lying, I'm pissed that they are lying about liking MY favorite band! Argh, silly emo kids.

For all of you Rhode Island kiddies, I shall be on the peninsula July 16th... so get ready to greet me with cards conveniently filled with lovely green backs. Also, I will have use of my Mazda so Boston will be one of my destinations. I'm a bit different than most of you may have remembered so be prepared.

Oh, speaking of Guitar Hero, I hereby challenge anyone to a friendly game of me kicking your ass. Seriously, I am holding an international competition. Why do I feel that I rock so much? I recently completed "Jordan" by Buckethead on Expert with a 97%. Hey! You! Pick your jaw up from the ground this very instant! See? I rock. Word.

Guitar Hero III has online play. So the recently mentioned international competition? Access: Granted.

More to come soon... I must go destroy some previous Guitar Hero scores. Oh, and the name of my band? The Rock Horror Show.

God Knows I'm Helpless [it's what you need to fucking bleed]

I promised pictures, so here you go:

My lovely new PS3, complete with an extra controller, Gundam Musou (Japanese only Gundam game), and a bunch of candy.

I love random Japanese food.

The best drink in the world. Apple Tea is by far superior to Sweet Tea. I drink this stuff by the gallon and I've not gotten sick of it in the least bit.


Oh yes, a Sega arcade. These arcades are scattered across the island, so no matter where you are, there is a Sega arcade near you.

In Japan it is common to purchase a Jew at your local Ju Shop. They work efficiently and you don't have to pay them!

Just a random picture of what Japan looks like. This is off Rt. 58, one of the highways here on the island.
zomgz!

Sunny Side Up [with a cool black center, cold as ice]

So they say the world is 3/4 water, right?

Well, take a glass and fill it 1/2 way with water. Add some ice, and the water level rises, right?

So take all of the living creatures out of the sea, the water level would decrease, right?

Hmm...

You Were From A Perfect World [a world that took me away from today]

Yes, I did die, but no worries, I received a [Raise] III :)

So Japan is wonderful! The island I'm on (Okinawa) is beautiful; the weather is beautiful, the scenery is beautiful, the culture is beautiful. Too many beautifuls? Too bad, no other words are quite as beautiful as beautiful. It also helps that I can share my times here with others; I've met many gnarly people here, good people who will have your back.

AR (aircraft recovery) is an amazing change from working Langley flightline. I feel as if I've transfered from the marines to the air force. Hell, I just had a lunch break. Sure, it wasn't an hour lunch break, but I actually get to eat lunch on a daily basis. It's an amazing concept, I know. In all seriousness, though, I actually like what I do and I don't dread going to work every single day. It's a small shop, which I'm def. not used to. All of the people here are all pretty close to each other, and I haven't noticed any drama at work. THAT is def. is a new concept to me; I've always thought drama was a prereq. for working in maintanence.

The island, as mentioned above, it absolutely beautiful. The barn I was at yesterday (more on that below) is right on the beach. Crystal blue water, colorful (and sharp) coral, reminds me of Bermuda. I really need to take more pictures here, but I have been so distracted, taking in all of the scenery. So I promise I will take more pictures... I've been really lazy with pictures as of late, esp. with Lisa. Sorry babe.

There are arcades littered all around the island. We have all the new arcade games, most of which aren't in the states yet. I recently beat the newest House of the Dead and Time Crisis (5 iirc).

Oh, and I purchased a Japanese PS3. You can set the ps3 menu language to English, and Japanese/English PS3's can play both Japanese/English games. Blu-Ray is region free, unlike DVD :) So, for the $600.00 PS3 system (fully upgraded system) in the states, a $60.00 game, and a $50.00 controller, I paid $607.00. See, the PS3 here is 59,959 Yen, which is actually A LOT less than $600.00. Yeah, it's pretty sweet. I have Call of Duty 3 and NBA2k7 for online games, so if anyone wishes to receive a glass of pwnage, feel free to let me know and we'll rock out. Oh, and the Japanese game I bought is the new Gundam game, aptly named Gundam Musou. Ever play Dynasty Warriors? It is EXACTLY the same game, except the chinamen are mecha and the Chinese countryland is space/cities/etc. Yeah, the game fucking rocks. So addicting... Heero pwns all of the MS pilots. Word.

As for the time difference, I'm in a GMT +9 zone. Also, we have no daylight savings time, so the time difference is going to be all sorts of fucked up come Sunday.

Can't call me anymore? Derr, I cut my phone line. I do have a sleu of messengers, a web cam, and a mic. So feel free to contact me in any way you deem fit.

AIM: AFinalmike
Y!: Finalmikelafb
MSN: Finalmike@msn.com
Opentalklive: Panera
Myspace: www.myspace.com/finalmike
Facebook: USAF network.

I've many others as well, so just tell me what you use and I'll hop on.

Wanna mail me free stuff? Letters? Used panties?

SrA Michael Murphy
18th EMS
PSC 80 Box 22137
APO AP 96367-0106

Yeah, no mail bombs, please. Anthrax is ok though!

Updates to my Grant Miller-inspired series soon.

Oh, about the barn, mentioned above... I've started to volunteer at a Hippotherapy program at a barn in Yomitan. Hippotherapy is a physical, occupational and speech therapy treatment strategy that utilizes equine movement. This particular program focuses on young children with disabilities. Autism, Spectrum Disorders, Cerebral palsy, Cerebral vascular accident (stroke), Developmental delay, Down syndrome, Functional spinal curvature (scoliosis), Learning or language disabilities, Multiple Sclerosis, Sensory integrative dysfunction, and Traumatic brain injury are the main disabilities we deal with. The kids are between 1 and 5, but that is just currently; in the past, kids up to 12 have participated. The kids are adorable, and it's actually really fun playing with them. Read the wiki explanation, it's pretty short but informative. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hippotherapy

So the other volunteers, physical therapists, and the barn owner were all impressed with my knowledge and skill with riding and handling of the horses, so they want me to tame and train a currently pissed off horse, Pepper. She is really pissy and loves to bit and pin those ears down. She was actually a show horse, so she is in very good shape and actually rides wonderfully. Very strong (psysical and will haha), gorgeous color too (I say she looks like a dalmation). She was apparently a very sweet gal at one time, but due to her owners husband being deployed frequently and her having to take care of the kids, Pepper was borderline ignored. The barn owner feeds them all everyday, of course, but she just didn't have a lot of attention. So, Pepper is now a pissed off gal. I worked with her a little bit on Wednesday, and I do believe there is hope for her! She is an amazing ride (shut up perverts) and just needs some TLC. Updates on my progress will be had.

Updates, updates, updates! I will be posting more often now that I'm all settled in and comfortable with my surroundings. Pictures, too, I swear.

Unmaskable With [old spice and whiskey]

Dear Unfaithful Readers of Always Up Or Down [never down and out],

I have been on a hiatus for quite a few weeks due to my move to Japan, being home on vacation, and general lack of a computer. Updates will start again once I get to my destination (Feb 9th). [Take care.] [See you again!]

-AUOD[ndao]

...

No. Friggin. Way.

I'm on a video posting binge lately. This is one of My Chemical Romance's better songs, from their first album. The video, however, was made by a very talented (and Sims obsessed) YouTuber. He takes elements from all aspects of The Sims 2 and creates an amazing music video. Check it out.

We Could Just [pretend]

Now this is going to sound incredibly dorky, but this video makes me think. A lot. -- Mainstream TBS is alright IMO; I like them to a degree, but not as much as I did a few years ago. That being said, this video is amazing. For some reason it makes me think about how truly beautiful life can be. The transition from death and destruction to love and life hits me pretty hard, which is pretty amazing considering my soul is already in hell (fucker keeps annoying me with, "when are you getting here?" and, "they really DO serve beer in hell!"), or so I thought.

Anyways, enjoy the video.

I'll still stick to my stereotypical pop-punker ranting, however; sell outs!

Alligator Love Trap

This most likely won't make any sense to any of you, but this is a part of what my job consists of.

(This is the discrepancy)
WCE EQUIP IN INSP WCESEQ PWC ID WUC/LCN J/F SYM R/I SRD SHOP BY ACTION010 ALMFM A2022 01000 N - AAC NO 3315 COMP 04JAN07NARR: LEFT AMAD UPPER AND LOWER MOUNTS REQUIRE MIC CHECK

(This is what was done to remedy the discrepancy)
DDR# TM CP WUC/LCN AT WD HM UP STRT DATE STOP CS CLB AI CC EMP-# AFSC001 B 0 01000 00 2230 07004 2250 2 1 1C 03315 2A731CORR-ACTION: WITHIN TOLERANCE IAW TO 1F-15C-3-2

(Same thing here)
DDR# TM CP WUC/LCN AT WD HM UP STRT DATE STOP CS CLB AI CC EMP-# AFSC002 B 0 01000 01 1100 07004 1130 1 1 1C 03315 2A731CORR-ACTION: WITHIN TOLLERANCE IAW TO 1F-15C-3-2

***** FORMS ENTRY COMPLETE FOR THIS WCE *****

What am I showing you? Note the second DDR, in which user 03315 uses the word "tollerance." Simple typo, you say? I went and asked the said individual how to spell tolerance. "Are you stupid? It's T-O-L-L-E-R-A-N-C." No "E" at the end. Note as well that the word "tolerance" was visible on the screen as he was typing. Even worse, he spelled it right the first time.

These are the people defending your country.

Feel free to move to Canada, eh?

My ex is an idiot

The following conversation just took place before I came to work via text message. Be warned, you might become stupider by reading it (see, I just said stupider; told you so). The only thing I've changed is her grammar and spelling; I'm a bit of a grammar nazi (don't correct my typos or I'll kill you in your sleep).

Ex: Mike, I miss you.
Me: What the hell?
Ex: My boyfriend pushed me today and I fell.
Me: Well then dump his bitch ass!
Ex: Well I can't blame him... he thought I was mad with him because of his LD.
Me: His LD?
Ex: He has a potent case of autism.
Me: Hahaha, you're dating a retard AND he kicked your ass?
Ex: Shut up, he is NOT retarded!
Me: Maybe, but you sure as hell are.

(Not caring that I just called her an idiot, she continues)

Ex: My roommate has Assburgers [seriously, she typed that; it is spelt Asperger's] and is blonde and really dumb, but she has a record deal. Do you want her?
Me: No thanks, I only date normal girls, like the one I am dating now.
Ex: She's a virgin.
Me: What kind of record deal? Does she grunt excessively in tune to the beat?
Ex: No, she sings pop.
Me: Same difference.

(Apparently she doesn't mind that I'm insulting her roommate and continues to try to hook us up... still randomly)

Me: So she'll put out?
Ex: VIRGIN
Ex: But you're hot and smart so you could convince her. By the way she has a boyfriend.
Me: So you want me to run game on a retarded pop singer who is not only a virgin but has a boyfriend?
Ex: She's cute.
Me: You're a moron.
Ex: I miss you.
Me: And I miss slap bracelets. Go away.

There is no God.

Edit: I've been asked when we dated, etc. Ex and I dated when I was in high school, in 2003. We broke up because she cheated on me with her ex.